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21 May 2009 @ 03:32 pm
The Saga of Whorepool [Marvel, W:O]  

Title: The Saga of Whorepool Any Port In A Storm

Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, manner, or form, own Wolverine: Origins, X-Men, the Marvel universe, or the characters said universe/franchise contains. All publicly recognizable characters are copyrighted to Marvel and Fox. No infringement intended

Fandom: Marvel

Characters: Wade Wilson, Victor Creed, Chris Bradley

Continuity: Wolverine: Origins movie-verse
Summary: Oh yes, Chris picked an excellent time to go take a leak.

Warnings: Slash, sexual situations

Author’s Note: Spammin’ on me own journal, what shame. I don’t know, it just kind of happened. (I’m spending too much time on /coq/, aren’t I?)







Wade was something of the bicycle of their group. It seemed he didn’t care much who he tumbled into bed with – or the dirt or a wall or any number of places where two bodies could fit reasonably.  He wasn’t particularly picky, perhaps because he could never really afford to be. It was still undetermined – due to a strong desire to not know and extreme balking at even the merest thought – as to how he managed to lure anyone at all into intimacy with him. His mouth ran non-stop, morning, noon and night, and it was an unspoken certainty that that little character trait applied to sex as well. But maybe he managed to charm his way in, or just talk circles until someone just took him up to get him to shut up – in any case, it was one of the greater unexplored mysteries of the universe, with an aim to keep it that way.


He’d tried his luck, in the beginning, little pushes and tugs and half-insinuations, skilled as any fisherman, gauging and weighing every reaction for progress. But it had been for naught; most members of their group screamed raw masculinity, and shied off from any implication to the contrary. He let off early on, in his own unashamed yet understated way, striking out bravely in whatever uncharted territory they found themselves in, an equal opportunity bed-hopper who seemed just as home with unnamed and unknown persons of whichever gender was more convenient in his lap as he was with a gun in his hand. It became one of those tacitly uncomfortable locker room jokes, the kind told to stave off just how prickly it really made everything, and very, very carefully overlooked in any situation where it was brought up verbally (by which, we mean never).


Which was what made it such a surprise to find Victor heaving up like a sailboat in a hurricane between Wade’s legs, the pair rutting against each other with most of their clothes and gear on and unmentionable third-world substances still coating every exposed inch.


Bradley – who sometimes moonlighted as Bolt and Where’s-The-Fucking-Button-Change-The-Goddamn-Channel when someone was in a mood – gawped, one foot still comically posed in midair. Somewhere behind him, in the front of the building where sensible people were sitting under pitched canopies and eating something that could at least be called edible, the lights flared and flickered, sputtering like coughing children. This went largely unnoticed – after all, finicky generators were just part of the package deal of base camps set up in the jungle.


Before him, Wade swung up a leg to wrap around Victor’s waist, the other foot rising up to press against the wall for better leverage, which was very much not part of the usual package. His mouth was barely open, just enough to let in air, and, most amazing of all, no words were tumbling out. Just dry, sharp pants, in counterpoint to Victor’s weightier breathing. Both hands were clenched on Creed’s thick upper arms, which were braced like columns on either side of him, both supporting and trapping him firmly in place.


Oh yes, Chris picked an excellent time to go take a leak.


Victor suddenly lunged, mouth becoming fixed on Wade’s throat in the manner pit bulls and lions had in common. He growled, literally growled, and that seemed to be the cue for Wade to start running his motor-mouth again.


“Hi, I’m not your chew toy. And c’mon, what is this, softball? Slow pitch? Are we fucking or scratching my back? ‘Cause honestly? More to the left. And if you cut up my pouches again, I—!”


In a move both stunningly brutal and disturbingly offhand, Victor jerked free, grabbed Wade by one shoulder and spun him around, slamming his cheek up against the grainy, filthy wall. His free hand then plunged forward to seize a fistful of Wade’s hair, using that to hold him in place, and he bent forward, resting his forehead between Wade’s shoulder blades, completely absorbed in the task of pounding the man up against the wall with inhuman strength.


Wade, unsurprisingly, did not seem to mind.


He grunted, jerking back to meet Victor with increasing violence, face probably getting scratched up something awful as he grated up against the stone. One hand slipped down to rub awkwardly at himself through his fatigues. “Much fun— as this is, it’s— not doing much— for me here.”


Victor growled again, low in his chest, releasing Wade’s shoulder and haltingly offered a palm to rut against.


“Gee, thanks,” Wade said, rolling his eyes but taking what he was offered just the same. His eyelids slipped closed, brows furrowing and mouth setting to that line that implied intense concentration, the same expression he usually wore when doing his kill-everything-dead-within-a-fifteen-foot-radius routine.


It was both the most painfully inelegant and shockingly erotic coupling Bradley – who now also moonlighted as a surprise voyeur – had ever seen. With this thought in mind, he turned around – hoping they didn’t notice him (even if they more than likely did) because the implications were just too horrifying to contemplate for the moment – and made his slinking retreat back to the main camp ground, going as largely ignored as the lights had been. 


He sat heavily on one of the myriad of ammo boxes that passed as chairs, staring out blankly into the thick greenery that enclosed them as tight as any military bunker he had seen. Thought about Victor’s frenetic pace, the incongruously pouty angle of Wade’s lip when he was jostled particularly hard against the wall.


It was then that he decided that, maybe next time, he might just take Wade up on the offer.

Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: 'Siuil a Run', by Reeltime
pensive1 on June 13th, 2009 06:28 pm (UTC)
I know I'm violating some unspoken rule of the interwebz but I have been reading your /coq/ offerings for this 'verse and loving every damn minute. Someone said you had an LJ so I had to locate it and throw rose petals (and yummy choklit snax) at your feet 8D
burnedtoasty: YAYburnedtoasty on June 13th, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)
Rules are for forums and squares! Be the rebel.

But seriously, I write fic for people to enjoy it, so I don't mind at all. :)

Pensive: jaws - squeepensive1 on June 13th, 2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
AND I HAVE BEEN BELIEVE ME. My LJ is rife with recs to your work lately. hee.

Been toying with fic ideas for the movieverse, tried starting the car a few times but the damn engine won't turn over.. this metaphor is fail already DX

So that in-between time where the team splits up and Wade somehow ends up at the Island. Endless possibilities. A comment that stuck with me even from the first viewing was Bradley's, "always thought it'd be Wade comin' for me."

And I'm hella-sore from Workout Madness yesterday. dgsfdgsdghf
burnedtoasty: Bucketburnedtoasty on June 13th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks for reccing! I'm always a bit like, 'wut' when someone recs anything of mine; there's my inadequacy issue for the day. XD

The fic will come eventually. :D You could try trawling youtube for those delightfully bootleg clips for inspiration. Moar fic is always a great thing.

Oh, man, that time period is just begging to be filled in with speculation. There's so many period skips during the entire film, it's like they're holding a great big ol' sign saying, "HEY LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME TO FUCK WITH THE TIMELINE/CROSS IN SOME COMIC, GUYS, HUH HUH HUH?!" The movie kind of upset me a bit, but it's so much fun digging around in its sandbox.
pensive1 on June 13th, 2009 09:35 pm (UTC)
Funny that the way I cope with Wade being done wrong in the movie is to... do him wrong XD;; I was literally in the theater with my comic friends, sunk down in the seat on the verge of weeping. Joke's on them cause Deadpool gets his own movie which will be a billion times better TAKE THAT WOLVUREEN

Never feel inadequate bb. I have learned SO MUCH from reading your stuff.

...hey you want some of this PB&J sammich? I haz cheetos to go with it :B
burnedtoasty: False Modestyburnedtoasty on June 13th, 2009 11:14 pm (UTC)
THE DEADPOOL MOVIE WILL BE AMAAAAZING, it has to be after going through all that. Besides, Deadpool >>>>>> Wolverine, any medium, hands down, check please, hole in one, um, vaguely suggestive metaphor. And if they have the mask, I will just melt in the theatre, MELT I SAY.

They should cross/cameo Wade in all the Marvel movies. He can dress as spandex Wolverine so it'd be situation normal as far as Marvel's concerned. ;_; it would be beautiful.


I would love to nom PB&J. :D
pensive1 on June 13th, 2009 11:28 pm (UTC)
Ryan said this week they will DEF have the mask, so get to meltin'! \o/

I am going to ask at SDCC if Deadpool will be in the Avengers movie so he can kick Cap in the junk because he's totally a team player. Ryan and RDJ in the same movie I think I died a little
burnedtoasty: SRSLY.burnedtoasty on June 14th, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
Your icon made me guffaw so loud, everyone gave me a weird look.

You're going to SDCC? Argh, so much envy from my end. But yes! He totally should be in the Avengers, because he works well with-- uh, he's, ummm... he has a wonderful personality? But, seriously, it could be fun. 'Specially if, like, they somehow were able to lead up to Cable bein' all G.I. Jesus like and raisin' islands like a pimp, and then they can all go have a punchfest out on his lawn, and blow something up because they're the Avengers and it's like they have to meet a quota or something. AND SUDDENLY, WADE. :D

(I'm melting, I'm meeeeeelting. YES. All is now well in the universe. My God. Is it even /possible/ for RR to get any more awesome?)
pensive1 on June 14th, 2009 01:20 am (UTC)
heh, oh crack how I love it. XD

There's no way I could miss the IM2 panel. ohgod.

Also, the more Ryan displays his utter (fanboy)knowledge of Deadpool canon, the hotter I get for him. He's one of us man, and that's the sexiest thing EVER.
(Anonymous) on June 23rd, 2009 06:59 am (UTC)
Thanks for the information|
This post really helped me out. Thanks.
burnedtoasty: Dog-Monkey-Thing!burnedtoasty on June 23rd, 2009 07:26 am (UTC)
Re: Thanks for the information|
...? Um, you're welcome? I'm really sorry, but I'm not really sure what you mean. Maybe you posted in the wrong place?
hohaiyeehohaiyee on June 23rd, 2009 06:29 pm (UTC)
I'm so tempted to see the movie now!
Kinda, I don't like Wolverine because he's in everything...but damn, Ryan Reynolds look pretty hot.

I like the descriptor that Wade is as home with a man or a woman in his lap as he is with a gun in his hand.

burnedtoastyburnedtoasty on June 23rd, 2009 08:27 pm (UTC)
Re: I'm so tempted to see the movie now!
Honestly? The whole reason I went to the film was Deadpool (and more or less Blob and Maverick, because I'm a weirdo) and it is a huge Wolverine-fest, even more than the X-Men films. XD, well, the title is Wolverine, but still; other characters are just kind of glossed over. I would recommend renting it when it comes out, though, at the very least. It's not great but it's not eye-gouging painful if you don't emotionally invest in something strongly linked to comic canon. And don't look at it very hard. (Though, for what he is in it, Ryan Reynolds does the part amazingly perfect.)/$0.02