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23 June 2009 @ 02:57 am
In Grace [Marvel]  

Title: In Grace

Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape, manner, or form, own the Marvel universe, or any and all characters said universe contains. ‘Cable and Deadpool’ is copyrighted to Marvel Studios, and the respective owners. No infringement intended.

Fandom: Marvel

Continuity: Cable and Deadpool, ‘Enema of the State’ (#15-18) AU

Characters: Wade Wilson/Deadpool, Nathan “Too Much To Put Here” Summers/Cable

Warnings: None

Summary: In which, Wade has a headache.

Author’s Note: I fear I have become am predictable. Also, happy birthday to meeee, it’s my party and I can cry if I want to~

 

So, I am doing a little three-parter about each of the AUs established in Enema of the State. One for War Cable, one for Phalanx/Unity Cable, and one for Spanky. I can call him Spanky if I want. No? Okay. :( [also, no, I do not know what the hell is up with the title, I was pressed for time and Tylenol.]

 

 

AND NOW I SLEEP ‘CAUSE BRAIN HURTY KTHNX. (confetti!)

 

--

 

 

Sometimes Wade doesn’t mind it. 

 

Well, maybe it’s a lie, and maybe it isn’t; it can’t matter much either way, when it’s just better to play along nice than not play at all, and it wasn’t as if he has a say in any case. Because the world is more or less perfect. On a sliding scale.

 

He still isn’t entirely certain on the criteria of the said scale. It’s very iffy. Up in the air, if you will, but Nate seems to get it – if his eggplant face is anything to go by – but that could very well be because everything was run by his rules. His scale. His global scale. It’s funny, in that fridge logic sort of way, that the best manner to go about saving the world is by conquering it with good intentions. Or at least, intentions that started out good, and maybe still are, if you stare at them sideways long enough and fudge the details. On bad days, not even Wade really notices, and it sort of starts to look like it might be some kind of perfect. There hasn’t been so many bad days recently, however, and that has left him time to think, which was never a good thing no matter who was playing benevolent dictator. And his thinking, more and more, works itself backwards (when it works at all).

 

There were, naturally, those disinclined to live in paradise, just a few scattered souls, the ones that had it good or something near enough to count. He thinks he has memories (on good days), but they’re clouded by something more exact than just time or an unfocused mind, something intent as a gardener’s hand in the weeds. Wade can remember them from time to time, if he thinks hard about it and nothing flashes in front of his eyes and if Nate’s not smiling at him. He remembers how they all went away, in every sense of the word. In and out and poof-gone, and Cable smiled that little smile, just a twitch of the lips, like he had everything and nothing to do with it.

 

It’s amazing what people can get away with when you’re not looking. Nobody looks anymore, and maybe that’s what’s setting him off today. Nobody looks.

 

He’s getting muddled again, losing the thread of lucidity, forgetting the wheres and whens and hows, and rubs his forehead to somehow call them back. He’s going to get the headaches if he keeps this up, but this is a good day, and he wants to hold on to it by all its sharp edges.

 

He lets go with one hand, swinging down under the bar that has become his perch, hooking his knees over it to hang upside down. The sun seems brighter from this angle, and he closes his eyes, watching his veins and scars make patterns inside his eyelids. There’s the soft hum of the crystals, the little henchmen, gliding past the balcony, but they more or less leave him alone these days. The words ‘special project’ drift through, but they’re all wrong, only catching the corners of what it all boils down to.

 

The door opens, and it’s like everything slides out of focus.

 

“I had the most interesting occurrence today.”

 

Wade nods without looking, and asks, “Wussat?” because it’s what he’s expected to do, even when he doesn’t really feel like it and it’s not going to be anything interesting anyways, because nothing interesting ever happens anymore. He rocks his knees – the metal bar is becoming uncomfortable, and, if he were anything else but Wade Wilson, Ex-Merc with a Mouth, there’d probably be bruises and cramps and what used to be ordinary things – and carefully unhooks himself, dangling awkwardly by one hand. He takes a moment to breathe, enjoying the muscle strain before it’s taken away, and drops to the floor, rolling as he hits. “Record number of backaches? Flowers got nine-point-oh-two seconds of sunlight today?” He ends up sitting, legs neatly crossed, facing the open air. He doesn’t turn around, and it’s petty, and things are getting staticy, but he knows he’ll lose it if he looks. That’s how it works in paradise, nowadays. Just good and bad and worse.

 

“You sound bitter, Wade,” Nate says with what could very well be uncertainty, but it’s in his Cable voice, and Cable hasn’t been wrong in so long it’s just like always being right. “No, I had an encounter with you. What could have been you.”

 

Nate’s being cryptic, and if he’s being cryptic it means he already has a script for this revelation planned out. It’s grating, because Wade knows he doesn’t mean for it to be, and that just makes it worse. His head is throbbing. He’s feeling groggy. He doesn’t turn. “Yeah? And how did that go?”

 

Nate’s boots squeak as he lands, and Wade knows he probably lost the argument before Cable even opened his mouth. “Hm. I left out the seedlings. You didn’t water them?”

 

It’s a question, even if it’s not, and the disappointment is palpable.

 

“I put them there for you.”

 

Wade awkwardly clambers to his feet, feeling exposed in a way he hasn’t since too long ago, and glances over his shoulder. Nate smiles – it should be a smirk, but that’s what the kids are calling it these days – and points to the table.

 

With what he hopes is a resentful look, he ducks past Cable’s bulk – less muscle and more softness and twice as dangerous as before – and scoops up the watering can. Carefully, he tips a little into each little pot, feeling frustrated—misplaced—something, and he kind of wants to throw the can and smash the pots and just cause a ruckus, because, because

 

He can't think straight. His head hurts so bad.

 

Nate touches his chin, concerned or something equally terrible, and Wade leans into it— maybe he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, or maybe he’s just taking this all the wrong way, because who the hell says no to heaven?

 

And he remembers when he saved the world from one messiah, and wonders why he failed to do it again.

 
 
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: 'A Whiter Shade of Pale' Procol Harum
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on June 23rd, 2009 11:07 am (UTC)
well that was just a awsome way to start my morning. also
he kind of wants to throw the can and smash the pots and just cause a ruckus, because, because…
that line kinda made the fic so much more compleate for me.
burnedtoastyburnedtoasty on June 23rd, 2009 08:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks much! I'm glad you liked it.
StormDragon: Marvel : Deadpoolstorm_dragoness on June 23rd, 2009 03:29 pm (UTC)
I am pretty sure there are a some people who would say no to heaven. Can't wait for the next part.

Is it really your birthday? If so happy birthday. :D
If not I am sorry, I get confused easily... sometimes...
burnedtoastyburnedtoasty on June 23rd, 2009 08:14 pm (UTC)
It's comin' along. The next one is the longest.

It is! And thanks! -dances-
pensive1 on June 23rd, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
first, HAPPY BDAY TO YOUUUU 8D *~kazoo!~*

second, Because the world is more or less perfect. On a sliding scale. <--that is one of the greatest lines in fanfic evar. @_@

third, Wade the most miserable in this AU. Stagnant, nothing to do, nothing interesting happens, and what he used to be is forever out of his reach. Foggy brain and despondenc ftw. For the depressing win.
burnedtoasty: Kraussburnedtoasty on June 23rd, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks BB! :D

That was the line that started it all, actually. I just sorta jotted it down, and was like, 'is there moar? I think there's moar.' I AM KIND OF LIKE DOCTOR FRANKENSTEIN.

The first time reading through that issue, it really did seem like the worst one in its own way. Just... absolutely horrifying, but trying to pass off as /good/. D:
asreal01asreal01 on June 23rd, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC)
Ouch and wow. (Happy B-day, btw)

I love how you tied together brother!Nate with the Mithas arc. I guess only Deadpool is 'sane' enough to never wish peace on people. Seriously, the world will NOT survive with COMPLETE peace.

Also, while this is not explicitly slash, I'm totally reading this as one because why else would Wade fail to stop Nate. OMG, Wade's WUV for Nate doomed the world to complete and utter stagnation. o.O
hohaiyee: a touch of lifehohaiyee on June 24th, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
That's how I read it too
...but Nate totally loves Wade as well, that's why he's trying to keep Wade entertained, with potted plants because he have no clue, but look, enrichment activity for the pet!

...but at least there is still the sex right?
burnedtoastyburnedtoasty on June 24th, 2009 10:47 pm (UTC)
I have a sick love of the Mithras arc and anything slightly to do with it.

Yeah, I was kind of wanting to toss that in as a factor, and leave it up to people if it was manipulation on Nate's part or by-blow of their old relationshipy-ness, but then I was like, let's leave it vague for any interpretation! YAY! (But yeah, their visually disturbing love destroyed the world. Ha.)
mmousemmouse15 on June 24th, 2009 12:55 am (UTC)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I love how you convey such a sense of confusion, of the world not making sense...awesome writing.
burnedtoastyburnedtoasty on June 24th, 2009 10:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks! It felt kind of weird, not finishing any real thoughts out. Just drifting.
Arielerlgirl_9 on June 24th, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)
Oh my God this is amazing.

That last line. Is. Awesome. It just sums up so perfectly the tragic poignance, and Wade's interrupted thought processes are just - wow.

*bows before you*
burnedtoastyburnedtoasty on June 24th, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks, BB. I'm glad you liked that line, it was one of my favorites! :D
japankasasagijapankasasagi on June 24th, 2009 02:04 am (UTC)
Happy Birthday, Toasty!
( ^-^)/VV\(^-^ ) Cheers, and a toast to the lovely Toast! I'm at work now, but I'll write more later (and not an epistle like the PM I sent either, so don't worry!)

burnedtoastyburnedtoasty on June 24th, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Toasty toasts XD. -flails around-
japankasasagijapankasasagi on July 18th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
I have to apologize first, because I think this is the first time I've read a fandom piece from you that wasn't Transformers-related. I'm afraid that, except for the names, I have no idea what's happening in the fic, and get the feeling that the Wade character is drugged or something, and he suspects he is, but can't quite recall it. Of course, writing for fandom, the author can fairly safely assume that the readers are already familiar with the background, so I apologize for my ignorance there /wry grin!

However, my ignorance aside, I've always liked your writing style, and this is no exception. I particularly liked the line "...and he wants to hold on to it with all its sharp edges". You have good similes that way! I like the disjointed sentences that indicate Wade's state of mind, and the interesting punctuation, both for the meaning, and the visual impact (I mean that in all seriousness, I'm not making fun of you, so please don't take it that way.)

On another note, I noticed your most recent post, and was wanting to ask you if you'd done any non-fiction writing recently? You had mentioned travel writing (and the idea that maybe you could write a travel piece based on your town - how would you describe it as a tourist destination?) ;D And writing aside, how are you doing, dear? I've been concerned about you, and wanted to check in on you! (*hugs*)
burnedtoasty: Kraussburnedtoasty on July 18th, 2009 08:57 pm (UTC)
'Ello! Yeah, I have done quite a few short, snippety pieces - mostly background descriptions and hardcore details because my landscapes are always kind of weak and just left as, well, implications - as writing exercises. But, fiction-wise, I don't know - it's like it stopped? Normally I can just tap out even a little itty-bitty thing daily, even if nobody sees it and it's awful, but I just /can't/ seem to generate ideas. Total blank. Which was... uncannily odd.

I've actually, otherwise, been doing well! Went on a mile hike up to the ice caves near my home town with my nephews and a few family members. Played around in the snow, go ice down my shirt, the works. It's absolutely beautiful up there - all moutains and trees and /guh/ - and I'll probably get some pictures off my mom's camera next time I can catch her. And swimming, and more hiking, and saving tadpoles, and semi-working at a family friend's not!farm until I can get a steadier source of income.

Nah, why would I be offended? I was kind of weird to write, because one half of my brain was like, "Expand on that there idea! You're just hopping around and running from structure like it's on fire!" and the other was, "NEEDS LESS COHESIVENESS, bring out the fragments!" War, I say. War.

Background of fic ramble time! In the comics (Nate/Cable) is a telekinetic/telepathic mutant, the son of one of the main characters of the X-men franchise. One half of his body is this techno-organic alien thing, which is both checked by and checking his mutation. In canon, he has 'influenced' Wade/Deadpool's mind, made him see things that weren't there, made him feel guilt, et cetera. He's always been good with sort of slipping in and taking control, and has enough of an ego (oddly understated at times but grating nonetheless) to think he's the only one to do it. He, uh. He traveled back in time to save the horrible future from itself, where there was Apocolypse and war and all kinds of bad, bad things.

Deadpool (Wade) is a mercenary with a healing factor, gotten when he was in a program called Weapon X. It's a copy of Wolverine's mutation, and is keeping his cancer at bay, but it has the side effects of making him completely bonkers (fourth wall breaking maniac that he is) and disfigured. His skin is a mass of scarring and/or cancer, depending on who's drawing/writing.

They had their own title buddy run, where they were accidentally sort of kind of linked on a genetic level, and the subtext was amazing. There was one part where Deadpool's deepest darkest fantasy was revealed to be giving Cable a nearly nude back massage on the beach and cleaning his metal half with WD-40 and, well, the fandom ran with it. :D

Anyways, in one of the comics, Wade ended up chasing Cable through fragments of himself, alternate realities where Cable showed parts of himself: War, the disciple of Apocolypse, who destroyed the world; the Unity Cable, who was taken over my the TO alien, and 'unified' the world by absorbing it. Brother Nathan, (this fic), who made everything peaceful to the point where nobody even has tummy aches anymore and is a benevolent dictator (it creeped me out so badly when I read it). In that, the Normal!Universe Deadpool responded incredibly negatively to the whole thing, going so far as saying, "Any world is better than this one!"

So I took the vague sense of horror I got while reading it for the first time, and the later issues morality issues Nate displayed (he made/manipulated Wade into feeling guilt over all the people he killed with visions of them everywhere, even if they really, really had it coming. He also has a history of manipulating Wade for his own ends or in some attempt to somehow better him, in Cable's opinion. In some ways, it was okay, like when he fixed some of his crazy, others, not so much [attempting to force him over to his side of a war, breaking his reputation when he didn't, et cetera]. This was a long parentheses break.) -- and basically threw it down in fic format. /end ramble

Now that I've gone on forever, how have you been doing? What's the word on the Japankasasagi side of the world? :)
japankasasagijapankasasagi on July 19th, 2009 01:48 pm (UTC)
When I was in college, most of my male friends (and boyfriend, too) were reading Cable (whereas I read Spawn, Elfquest, the Maxx and Puma Blues), so I know the names, just not the story. I LOVE the idea of that subtext! XD It's nice to see comics becoming more open and tolerant that way.

As for your writing dryspell, I wouldn't worry about it as much as you're doing. Seriously, everybody who's artistic has periods where they can't write, and you will be doing yourself a disservice if you stress over it. I'm not saying to not practice, even if it's drabbles and such, but to not blame yourself, or feel guilty when these periods come. I'm coming out of a nearly twenty-year dry spell art-wise, and I'm finally learning to not attach so much emotionally to my art - that blaming myself and beating myself over it just makes it worse; and that wee lil' thumbnails are fine, and will help keep the 'current' flowing, so to speak, so that when I DO want to do something bigger, that flow is still there.

You mentioned your fiction writing is in a slump right now. What about writing simple plot outlines or ideas? Also, have you kept a diary, journal, or anything like that? At least keeping a diary is easy to do, since hey, even if it's just the main events of the day, it's not hard to think about. Er, maybe..? ;D Do you do a lot of reading? I mean besides comics and such? Fiction or nonfiction? I get art ideas from written words a lot, so I like to read for that reason, too. Does reading other peoples' works give you ideas? Or if looking at art gives you ideas, you might try conceptart's forums (here's a fun one: http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=163066).

Anyway, you could just be subconsciously worried about daily life things, and that right there can sap creativity. Don't worry, if it's your debts, those can be taken care of eventually, it's not like you bought a house and have to foreclose! I don't mean to make light of your financial situation at all, because I've been there too, and know what you're feeling; and I know in my case that THAT is what was at the root of my creativity problems. And trust me, dear, this situation you've found yourself in WON'T last forever (hah, even if it feels like it now!) It won't, so make plans and start working towards them.

Phhphtphph, oh gods, I've just written yet another sermon to you. I feel like I'm standing on way too big a soapbox here, with a whole lot of teal deer about. Well, to be honest, I just really sympathize strongly with your situation, and want to reassure you that it's possible for you to get to a place you want to be, even if it takes a looong time (like it did for me) and to not give up!

Anyway, that outing with your relatives sounds like so much fun! At least you live in a beautiful area, wow! You said about 4 hours from Seattle, right? Sounds gorgeous. My grandmother's family came from Yakima, kinda in the desert, and we scattered her ashes at a lake up there (the name escapes me). So what do you do on your friends' farm? The description not!farm was amusing, so I got the image of wilted veggies in the back yard...

Not much happening here - husband and I just bought a LOT of floor-to-ceiling shelving to accomodate my prodigious book collection and his stuff, so our weekends have been busy there, but the room looks great now! School has one more week, then summer vaction! Planning on cleaning, drawing, organizing my computer files, walking daily for health, and hanging out in the local cafe.

Anyway, as always, it's always a pleasure to correspond with you, and I'm sorry my responses are so darned long... There's NEVER any pressure to reply, though, so respond as you feel like doing, okay? (^-^)b (*hugs*)
burnedtoasty: YAYburnedtoasty on July 19th, 2009 08:26 pm (UTC)
The subtext is everywhere these days, it seems (though I may be biased and reading way too into it, XD). Recently, in a run I'm suddenly thinking about picking up, two characters metaphorically came out about all the background hints that had been going on for years and years. And Flatman, of the Great Lakes Avengers, and a few others. It's great to see the variety. :D

The guilt is mostly stemming from the fact that I promised to finish some stories for people, and I hate to disappoint them. That, and, usually, I at least eke out a few words a day, fiction-wise. But even my original fiction is grinding down to a near standstill - the horror stories and the novels and everything, which hasn't happened so simultaneously before. But yeah, I probably shouldn't worry so much about it, and the stress of trying to balance so many different things at once probably has a great deal to do with it.

Ohhh, I love reading. Not just fanfics and comics and such, no; usually it's about one or two books a week, sometimes more. But since my home town doesn't have a bookstore and the library, frankly, leaves something to be desired, it's harder to get ahold of new reading material. I'm probably going to start ordering bunches from Amazon soon, though. I tend to leach inspiration from anything and everything, so books usually help me get the urge to start churning out my own stuff again, so here's to hoping. *fingers crossed*

Hah, oh my god, I think I'm in love that little flying hippo design. That is potentially the most adorable thing in the world. XD, thanks for the link!

Long responses are fun! I don't mind at all, really, I squee a bit whenever I see long messages.

Ooooooh, I can't wait to get the pictures up, it's seriously lovely up there. It's so /bright/ and perfect, it should be hot, but there's still snow up at the top of the trail head, and it's the perfedt temperature. My oldest nephew (four years old!) ended up walking up a slope (well, me carrying him on my shoulders and sliding all over the place) and slid down on my jacket.

I take care of the chickens, mostly. It's a farm-like place, but it's called a nursery, except nothing really gets sold and it's like they have a person zoo. There's llamas, cats, pigs, goats, little mini spotted deer, so many chickens (there's a banty rooster named Roger and I'm still not sure if he loves me or hates me), rabbits - all kinds of animals. But it's awesome, I get paid to mess around with animals, clean up, run from evil!sheep... However, I think my time is almost up, the Usual Help Guy is coming back and intending to get back into work. D:

Awesome! Congrats for the shelving (the joy of organization XD) and hurrah for summer vacation, it sounds like you are gonna be busy. Are you going to take the whole summer off, or is it just a short break?
Randi's Fanfiction Journalalternatedoom on August 29th, 2009 06:35 am (UTC)
I never dreamed I'd like a fic about the perfect-world AU half as much as I like the porny fics about the War!Cable AU, but I like this tremendously. It's beautifully written and worded, and there's so much to it.
Anne-Elisaetrangere on November 3rd, 2010 02:21 am (UTC)
wow! Mindblowing!